Popular Jokes 9

English Questions

Who said that english is easy... fill in this blank with YES or NO...__________ I don't have a brain.__________ I don't have a sense__________ I am stupid
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I went to the psychiatrist, and he says You're crazy.  I tell him I want a second opinion.  He says, Okay, you're ugly too!
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All flowers cannot represent the love but Rose did it All animals cannot speak but parrot did it and all monkeys cannot read sms but…. my friend you did it
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Love Letter Using Subjects

I am bad in ENGLISH but I can tell you that I LOVE YOU.I am bad in GEOGRAPHY but I can tell you that you LIVE in my HEART.I am bad in HISTORY but I can REMEMBER the FIRST TIME I saw you.I am bad in CHEMISTRY but I can tell you my REACTION when you SMILE.I am bad in PHYSICS but I can tell the INTENSITY the SPARKS of my EYES give, when they SEE you.I am bad in every SUBJECT but I can TELL ALL.I will PASS all SUBJECTS if the TOPIC is YOU!
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Four men are in the hospital waiting room because their wives are having babies. A nurse approaches the first guy and says, “Congratulations! You're the father of twins.” “That's odd,” answers the man. “I work for the Minnesota Twins!” A nurse then yells the second man, “Congratulations! You're the father of triplets!” “That's weird,” answers the second man. “I work for the 3M company!” A nurse goes up to the third man saying, “Congratulations! You're the father of quadruplets." “That's strange,” he answers. “I work for the Four Seasons hotel!” The last man begins groaning and banging his head against the wall. “What's wrong?” the others ask. “I work for 7 Up!”
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Ppl Say
A Kiss Is On HEAD A Sweet Kiss On CHEEKS A Passionate Kiss On LIPS A Romantic Kiss On NECK But Seriously HOTEST Kiss Is On Iron
Try It ;->
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A young man goes into a drug store to buy condoms. The pharmacist tells him that the condoms come in packs of three, nine, or 12, and asks which ones the young man wants. "Well," he says, "Ive been seeing this girl for a while and she's really hot. I want the condoms because I think tonight's the night. We're having dinner with her parents and then we're going out. Once she's had me, she'll want me all the time, so you'd better give me the 12 pack!" The young man makes his purchase and leaves. Later that evening, he sits down to dinner with his girlfriend and her parents. He asks if he may give the blessing and they agree. He begins the prayer, but continues praying for several minutes. The girl leans over and says, "You never told me that you were such a religious person." He leans over to her and says, "You never told me that your father is a pharmacist."
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A little boy goes to his dad and asks, "What is politics?"

Dad says, "Well son, let me try to explain it this way: I'm the breadwinner of the family, so let's call me capitalism. Your Mom, she's the administrator of the money, so we'll call her the Government. We're here to take care of your needs, so we'll call you the people. The nanny, we'll consider her the Working Class. And your baby brother, we'll call him the Future. Now, think about that and see if that makes sense,"

So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what dad had said. Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him. He finds that the baby has severely soiled his diaper. So the little boy goes to his parents' room and finds his mother sound asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny's room. Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father in bed with the nanny. He gives up and goes back to bed. The next morning, the little boy says to his father, "Dad, I thin k I Understand the concept of politics now." The father says, "Good son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about." The little boy replies, "Well, while Capitalism is screwing the Working Class, the Government is sound asleep, the People are being ignored and the Future is in deep shit."
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At a party, the host was getting worried because there were too many people and not enough refreshments. She was sure that not all of these had been invited but didn't know how to tell which ones were the crashers.

Then her husband got an idea. He turned to the crowd of the guests and said, Will everyone from the bride's side of the family stand up please? About 20 people stood.

Then he asked, Will everyone from the groom's side of the family stand up please?

About 25 people stood up.

Then he smiled and said, Will everyone who stood please LEAVE... This is a 'Birthday Party'!!!
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In the human body, which organ is in charge?

All the organs of the body were having a meeting, trying to decide who was in charge.

The brain said: "I should be in charge, because I run all the body's systems, so without me nothing would happen."

"I should be in charge," said the heart, "because I pump the blood and circulate oxygen all over the body, so without me you'd all waste away."

"I should be in charge," said the stomach, "because I process food and give all of you energy."

"I should be in charge," said the rectum, "because I'm responsible for waste removal."

All the other body parts laughed at the rectum and insulted him, so in a huff, he shut down tight. Within a few days, the brain had a terrible headache, the stomach was bloated, and the blood was toxic. Eventually the other organs gave in. They all agreed that the rectum should be the boss.

The moral of the story?

You don't have to be smart or important to be in charge... just an asshole.
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