Akpos Jokes 15

Examples of Lines

Akpos keeps being punished in school for several reasons but he just won't change. The stubborn boy was in class one day when the following drama took place...TEACHER: Children, give me examples of lines that I have taught you.KWAME: Vertical lines.TEACHER: Very good, another one.MERCY: Horizontal line.TEACHER: Impressive, any other person?(Akpos from the back raised his hand up)TEACHER: Great, Akpos tell us.AKPOS: CAROLINE
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Blessed Are Those That See

A Reverend father was praying over the offering in church. Akpos opened his eyes and saw the father taking five thousand naira out of the bowl.  The father saw that Akpos caught him red-handed.So he said "Amen. Blessed are those who see and remain quiet.'' Akpos replied "For they shall receive their share, Halleluyah!"
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Two Babies

Akpos' wife was pregnant and the following conversation ensued:  WIFE: Darling, guess what? AKPOS: What?WIFE: I went for the scan today and the scan revealed that I'm pregnant with a set of twins.AKPOS: Really? Two babies?WIFE: (excited) Yes!AKPOS: So who is the father of the second child?
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Mathematics Riddle

In an International Mathematics competition...How do you write 4 in between 5?
CHINESE: Is this a Joke?
JAPANESE: Impossible!
AMERICAN: The question is wrong.
BRITON: Not found on the Internet.
AKPOS:  F(IV)E.
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Exam promise

Akpos read from cover to cover preparing for  his entrance examination. His father came to his room and saw him reading.FATHER: Akpos, make sure you pass that exam otherwise just forget that I'm your father!AKPOS: Sure thing dad, I'm bound to bring smiles to your face.5 HOURS LATER...FATHER: So my son, how was your exam? I'm sure u passed it excellently... AKPOS: Sorry excuse me, do I know you?
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Advanced Questions

One day, Akpos who was in primary three, approached his teacher. Akpos said, "Mam, I should be in primary four, Im smarter than my sister and shes in the primary four."The Mam (Teacher) had heard enough of his complaints and took Akpos to the Principals office. She explained everything to the Principal who decided to test Akpos with some questions that a primary four pupil should know.PRINCIPAL: Whats 3 + 3?AKPOS: 6!PRINCIPAL: 6 + 6?AKPOS: 12!And so on...The Principal asked the boy many questions and Akpos got them right. The Principal then asked Mam to send Akpos to primary four. Mam decided to ask some more questions and the Principal agreed.MAM: What does a cow have four of, that Ive only two of?AKPOS: Legs!MAM: Whats in your pants that you have but I dont have?AKPOS: Pockets!MAM: What starts with a C and ends with T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin whitish liquid?AKPOS: Coconut!MAM: What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?The principals eyes open really wide, but before he could stop the answer, the boy was taking charge.AKPOS: Bubble Gum!MAM: You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up, I get wet before you do. What am I?AKPOS: Tent!The principal was looking restless.MAM: A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when youre bored. The best man always has me first and what am I?AKPOS: Wedding Ring!MAM: I come in many sizes. When Im not well, I drip. When you blow me, you feel good?AKPOS: Nose!MAM: I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates, I come with a quiver?AKPOS: Arrow!MAM: What starts with F and ends with a K and if you dont get it, you have to use your hand?AKPOS:Fork!MAM: Whats it that all men have, its longer in some men than others, the Pope doesnt use his and a man gives it to his wife after marriage?AKPOS: Surname!MAM: What part of the man has no bone, but has muscles with a lot of veins like pumping and is responsible for making love?AKPOS: Heart!The principal heaved a sigh of relief and told the teacher, "Send Akpos to the University! I got the last ten questions wrong myself!"
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No Nose

TEACHER: What do you call someone with no body and a nose?
AKPOS: Nobody Knows...
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Real Movie

A movie director needed an extra to act a scene which involves depicting a gateman. So they offered Akpos, who was incidentally the gateman at the house they were filming, to play the role. The director gave Akpos a cutlass and told him to give a pretence chase behind the main actor who was playing the role of a thief. The director said to Akpos, When you hear action, start chasing this guy with the cutlass. Do you understand? Akpos nodded in affirmation. Immediately the Director shouted Action, Akpos did exactly as he was told and started chasing the other actor round the compound. As the actor was about to scale the fence, the director screamed, Cut! Cut! Cut!" The actor is presently recuperating in the hospital.
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Escape From Yaba Left

Akpos escaped from Yaba Psychiatric Hospital. When he got home, he called the Psychiatric Hospital on phone and asked; "Is there any one in Room eight at Ward one?" The Receptionist on phone replied; "Just a minute sir hold on let me check." A while later the Receptionist came back on the phone and said; "There is no one sir." Akpos exclaimed; "Wow! Okay my dear." The Receptionist said; "But why did you ask sir?." Akpos replied; "I want to be sure that I've escaped."
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No One Knows Tomorrow

During a CRK class...TEACHER: No one knows tomorrow except ________?(Akpos raised his hands)TEACHER: Okay Akpos, tell us, who knows tomorrow?AKPOS: Sir, me!TEACHER: (surprised) And what's tomorrow? AKPOS: Tomorrow is Wednesday.
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