Akpos Jokes 12

Thunder Sound

In a science class...TEACHER: Who can tell us why we always see the lightening first before we hear the sound of the thunder later?AKPOS: Because our eyes are in front of our ears.
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Marriage Conditions

GIRL: When we get married, I want you to stop smoking. AKPOS: Ok! GIRL: I will also want you to stop drinking too. AKPOS: Ok! GIRL: As well as stop going to the night club too. AKPOS: Yes. GIRL: You should stop watching soccer matches with your boys also AKPOS: Okay! GIRL: What else can you quit? AKPOS: The idea of marrying you.
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Akpos' Landlord

This brief conversation ensued between Akpos and his landlord...LANDLORD: (knocks at Akpos door)AKPOS: (Opens the door)LANDLORD: Hey man, I'm looking for my house rent?AKPOS: You can come in let's look for it together.
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Family Problems

Akpos and Kwame met at a bus stop and struck up a conversation. Kwame kept complaining about his family problems. Finally, Akpos said to Kwame, "You think you have family problems? Listen to my situation:  "A few years ago, I met a young widow with a grown-up daughter. We got married and I got myself a stepdaughter. Later, my father married my stepdaughter. That made my stepdaughter, my step mother. And my father became my stepson. Also, my wife became mother-in-law of her father-in-law. Much later, the daughter of my wife, my stepmother, had a son. This boy was my half-brother because he was my father's son. But he was also the son of my wife's daughter which made him my wife's grandson. That made me the grandfather of my half-brother. This was nothing until my wife and I had a son. Now the half-sister of my son, my stepmother, is also the grandmother. This makes my father, the brother-in-law of my child, whose stepsister is my father's wife, I am my stepmother's brother-in-law, my wife is her own child's aunt, my son is my father's nephew and I am my OWN GRANDFATHER!"
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English Language Class

One boring Monday morning, Mr. Akpos, our English teacher entered the class and addressed us. He started; "Lets show the principal and our guest how much we have learnt so far this year. Lets do some comparatives. So I say small, you say small, smaller, smallest and on and on like that."We all nodded, looking very tired.MR. AKPOS: BigCLASS: (All chorused) Big, bigger ,biggestMR. AKPOS: CleanCLASS: Clean, cleaner, cleanestMR AKPOS: Tall CLASS: Tall, taller, tallestMR AKPOS: (Smiling) Very goodCLASS: Very good, very gooder, very goodestMR. AKPOS: Oh gosh!CLASS: Oh gosh, oh gosher, oh goshestMR. AKPOS: Stop it now!CLASS: Stop it now, stop it nower, stop it nowestMR AKPOS: Oh please!CLASS: Oh please, oh pleaser, oh pleasestMR. AKPOS: Look at me!CLASS: Look at me, look at me-er, look at me-estMR. AKPOS: What a disgrace!CLASS: What a disgrace, what a disgracer, what a disgracestMr. Akpos furiously left the class.
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Questionaire

Nawa for all these rich people. Akpos went to see a friend from a very rich family. The maid approached Akpos and asked: MAID: What would you like to have; fruit juice, yoghurt, tea, chocolate, cappuccino , frapuccino or coffee?AKPOS: Tea please.MAID: Ceylon tea, Indian tea, herbal tea, kericho gold tea, bush tea or green tea?AKPOS: Ceylon tea please. MAID: How do you want it; black or white?AKPOS: White.MAID: Milk or fresh cream?AKPOS: With milk.MAID: Goat milk or cow milk?AKPOS: Cow milk.MAID: Freeze-land cow or Afrikaner cow?AKPOS: (Thinking), let me have freeze-land cow.MAID: Would you like it with sweetener, sugar or honey?AKPOS: Sugar.MAID: Bee sugar or cane sugar?AKPOS: Cane sugarMAID: White, brown or yellow sugar?AKPOS: Abeg, forget about the tea, just give me a glass of water.MAID: Mineral, tap or distilled water?Akpos: Mineral water. MAID: Flavoured or non-flavoured?AKPOS: Infact get me an empty glass!MAID: Do you want a tumbler, wine glass, champagne flute or a beer mug?  AKPOS: Abeg, free me, I go fast"MAID: Wet fast or dry fast?
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Good Samaritan

Akpos picked up a blackberry Z10 in a taxi. He checked through the contacts and found "MY number 2" then he called it and luckily the owner answered "Wow! Thank God! Where did you pick the phone" Akpos quickly interrupted "not so fast lady, please give me your address."  "You want to bring the phone? Wow that's so nice of you. If only this country was full of good people like you..."Akpos interrupted "What nonsense are you saying? I want to come and collect the charger!"
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School Donation

A guy knocked at Akpos' door asking for a donation for the local primary school's swimming pool.So Akpos went inside his house and came back saying, "Here, have a cup of water."
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How Many Feet

TEACHER: How many feet are there in a yard?AKPOS: It depends, if there are 3 people, then we have six feet.
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Keep Driving!

Akpos was driving home late one night. His front lights were no longer working so he was driving on the road behind a car whose front lights were working perfectly.All of a sudden, the car in front stopped moving. Akpos waited for close to 5 minutes in his car but the car in front didn't move.Akpos shouted, "Why did you stop? come on, keep driving!"The man in the car shouted back; "Should I keep driving in my own garage?"
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