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Dave was in a bar looking very dejected. His friend, Adam, walked over and asked, "What's wrong?" "It's my mother-in-law," Dave replied, while shaking his head sadly. "I have a real problem with her." "Cheer up," Adam said. "Everyone has problems with their mother-in-law." "Yeah, sure," Dave answered. "But not everybody gets theirs pregnant!" ===========================================≠==============================≠==≠==≈============ Junior had just received his brand new drivers license. To celebrate, the whole family trooped out to the driveway and climbed into the car for his inaugural drive. Dad immediately headed to the back seat, directly behind the newly minted driver. "I'll bet you're back there to get a change of scenery after all those months of sitting in the front passenger seat teaching me how to drive," said the beaming boy to his old man. "Nope," came dad's reply, "I'm gonna sit back here and kick the back of your seat while you drive, just like you have been doing to me for sixteen years." ===========================================≠==============================≠==≠==≈============ A DEA officer stops at a ranch in Texas, and talks with an old rancher. He tells the rancher, 'I need to inspect your ranch for illegally grown drugs.' The rancher says, 'Okay, but do not go in that field over there,' as he points out the location. The DEA officer verbally explodes saying, 'Mister, I have the authority of the Federal Government with me.' Reaching into his rear pants pocket, he removes his badge and proudly displays it to the rancher. 'See this badge? This badge means I am allowed to go wherever I wish, on any land. No questions asked or answers given. Have I made myself clear? Do you understand?' The rancher nods politely, apologizes, and goes about his chores. A short time later, the old rancher hears loud screams and sees the DEA officer running for his life chased by the rancher's big Santa Gertrudis bull! With every step the bull is gaining ground on the officer, and it seems likely that he'll get gored before he reaches safety. The officer is clearly terrified. The rancher throws down his tools, runs to the fence and yells at the top of his lungs! 'Your badge. Show him your BADGE!' ===========================================≠==============================≠==≠==≈============ Like this page please #PRMPSmartJokes