Two engineering students meet on campus one day. The first engineer calls out
to the other, "Hey Nice bike! Where did you get it?"
"Well," replies the other, "I was walking to class the other day when this
pretty, young coed rides up on this bike. She jumps off, takes off all of her
clothes, and says 'You can have anything you want!!'"
"Good choice," says the first, "her clothes wouldn't have fit you anyway."
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The Interview
An office manager was given the task of hiring an individual to fill a job opening. After sorting through a stack of rsums he found four people who were equally qualified. An American, an Indian, a European and a Nigerian. He decided to call the four in and ask them only one question. Their answers would determine which of them would get the job. The day came and as the four sat around the conference room table, the interviewer asked:"What is the fastest thing you know of?"The American on his right replied, " A THOUGHT. It just pops into your head. There's no warning that it's on the way, it's just there. A thought is the fastest thing I know of" "That's very good!" replied the interviewer. "And now you sir?" He asked the Indian. "Hmm... let me see. A blink! It comes and goes and you don't know that it ever happened. A BLINK is the fastest thing I know of." "Excellent!" said the interviewer. "The blink of an eye. That's a very popular clinch for speed."He then turned to the European who was contemplating his reply. "Well, on my dad's farm, you step out of the house and on the wall there's a light switch. When you flip that switch, way out across the field, the light in the barn comes on in less than a second. TURNING ON A LIGHT is the fastest thing I can think of. The interviewer was very impressed with the third answer and thought he had found his man. "It's hard to beat the speed of light," He said. Turning to the Nigerian, the interviewer posed the same question. He replied, "It's obvious to me that the fastest thing known is DIARRHOEA." "WHAT!?" said the interviewer, stunned by the response. "I can explain." Said the man. "You see the other day I wasn't feeling so good and I ran to the bathroom, but before I could THINK, BLINK, or TURN ON THE LIGHT, I had already poohed in my pants!"HE GOT THE JOB!
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Painful Moments II
Which one is the most painful?
1. Studying for 7 years in a University, then stay home for 10 years unemployed!2. Raise a child for 20 years, then find out he/she is not yours!
3. Work hard for the whole month, then go to the ATM and get robbed!
4. Going to school for 11months, then get your report written failed...
5. Being faithful to the person you call your Soulmate, then in return, you get AIDS!
6. Study for the whole night for a test, then fail the test.
7. Being in a very good relationship with someone and then end up marrying someone else.
8. You're downloading a video of 5gb and when it reaches 98% your phone dies!
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Two girls were arguing when the teacher entered the room. The teacher says,?Why are you arguing?? One girl answers, ?We found a ten dollar and decided to give it to whoever tells the biggest lie.? ?You should be ashamed of yourselves,? said the teacher,?When I was your age I didn't even know what a lie was.? The girls gave the ten dollars to the teacher.
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Alphabetical Order
A pilot announced, "Ladies & Gentlemen, the plane is losing altitude and all the baggages must be thrown out."A little later, the pilot says, "We're still losing altitude, we must throw anything out that is in the cabin."The plane continues it's descent despite more things being thrown out. The pilot announced again, "Still going down, we must throw out some people"There's a big gasp from the passengers! Then the pilot said, "But to make this fair, passengers will be thrown out in alphabetical order. So A, any Africans on board?" No one moves."B, any Blacks on board?" No one moves."C, any Coloureds on board?" Still no one moves."D, any Darkies?"A little black Nigerian boy asks his dad, "Dad, what are we?"His Dad replied, "Tonight son, we are Zombies"
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