Popular Jokes 18

My sister asked me to take off her clothes. So I took off her shirt. Then she said, “Take off my skirt.” So I took off her skirt. “Take off my shoes.” I took off her shoes. “Now take off my bra and panties.” So I took them off. Then she looked at me and said, “I don’t want to catch you wearing my things ever again.”
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It's Not Working

My girlfriend left a note on the fridge, "It's not working. I can't take it anymore. I am going to my Mum's place."I opened the fridge. The light came on. My orange juice was very cold. What the hell is she talking about?
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Endless Chain

Boss says to secretary, "We are travelling abroad for the week, so make arrangements."Secretary makes a call to her husband, "My boss and I will be travelling abroad for the week, so look after kids."Husband makes call to secret lover, "My wife is going abroad for the week, so let's spend the week together."Secret lover makes a call to a little boy whom she is giving private lessons, "I'm going to be busy throughout the week, so you need not come for classes."Little boy makes call to his grandfather, "Grandpa, I don't have classes for the week, because my teacher is going to be busy. Let's spend the week together."Grandpa makes a call to his Secretary, "I'm afraid we won't be travelling again. My grandson and I are going to spend the week together."Secretary makes a call to her husband, "My boss has some personal matters to attend to, so our trip is cancelled."Husband makes a call to secret lover, "We cannot spend the week together, my wife has cancelled her trip."Secret lover makes a call to little boy, "We will still have classes as usual this week."Little boy makes a call to his grandfather, "Grandpa! I'm sorry we won't be able to spend the week together. My teacher called and said that I have to attend classes."Grandpa makes a call to his secretary, "Change of plans! My grandson is no more coming. So we are still travelling this week. Make arrangements."How will the chain be broken?
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The phone call

a couple agreed that whenever they wanted to have s#x they'd say "let's make a phone call"one day the man sent his son to tell his mom while she was busy in the kitchen. Son: mom, daddy said you should come so he can make a phone call. Mom: go and tell your daddy that the network is busy. Dad: then tell her that i will go elsewhere to make the call. Mom : tell you daddy that if he does that, i will open a call center here!
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Two Tigers were resting under a tree..
Suddenly a RABBIT passed very fast
Tiger could not make out & asked
“What was that?” 2nd Tiger smiled and said:
.
.
.
.
Fast Food..xP :P
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Popular Jokes 17

Cheating Boyfriend

BOYFRIEND: I cheated.                 GIRLFRIEND: Damn you! I hate you and let me tell you too that I cheated on you with your best friend. I even slept with your brother!                BOYFRIEND: What?!                      GIRLFRIEND: Yea, you heard me right.              BOYFRIEND: I meant on my test you bitch!!!GIRLFRIEND: Oh!
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Two drunks are walking along.

One drunk says to the other, "What a beautiful night... look at the moon."

The other drunk stops and look at his drunk friend, "You are wrong, that's not the moon, that's the sun."

They started arguing for a while when they came upon another drunk walking, so they stopped him.

"Sir, could you please help settle our argument? Tell us what that thing is up in the sky that's shining. Is it the moon or the sun?"

The third drunk looked at the sky and then looked at them and said, "Sorry, I don't live around here."

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Saw an ad in the newspaper : Need Accountant, 15000Rs – 20000Rs.
So I called and told them the answer is -5000Rs…
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Mother: "Are you talking back to me?!"
Son: "Well yeah, that's kinda how communication works."
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A: I have the perfect son.
B: Does he smoke?
A: No, he doesn’t.
B: Does he drink whiskey?
A: No, he doesn’t.
B: Does he ever come home late?
A: No, he doesn’t.
B: I guess you really do have the perfect son. How old is he?
A: He will be six months old next Wednesday.
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School Jokes 8

Teacher: “How can you prove the earth is round?”  Boy: “I can’t. Besides, I never said it was.”
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Teacher: "Which is more important to us, the sun or the moon?"  Ramu: "The moon".  Teacher: "Why?"  Ramu: "The moon gives us light at night when we need it but the sun gives us light only in the  day time when we don't need it".
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Boy: The principal is so dumb!  Girl: Do you know who I am?  Boy: No...  Girl: I am the principals daughter!  Boy: Do you know who I am?  Girl: No...  Boy: Good! *walks away*
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Teacher: “If I give you two rabbits and two rabbits and another two rabbits, how many rabbits have you got?”  Boy: “Seven!”  Teacher: “No, listen carefully again.   If I give you two rabbits and two rabbits and another two rabbits, how many rabbits have you got?”  Boy: “Seven!”  Teacher: “Let’s try this another way.   If I give you two apples and two apples and another two apples, how many apples have you got?”  Boy: “Six.”  Teacher: “Good.   Now if I give you two rabbits and two rabbits and another two rabbits, how many rabbits have you got?”  Boy: “Seven!”  Teacher: “How on earth do you work out that three lots of two rabbits is seven?”  Boy: “I’ve already got one rabbit at home now!”
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Jimmy: Would you punish me for some thing I didn't do?  Teacher: no, of course not.  Jimmy: good, because I didn't do my homework.
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