School Jokes 8

Teacher: “How can you prove the earth is round?”  Boy: “I can’t. Besides, I never said it was.”
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Teacher: "Which is more important to us, the sun or the moon?"  Ramu: "The moon".  Teacher: "Why?"  Ramu: "The moon gives us light at night when we need it but the sun gives us light only in the  day time when we don't need it".
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Boy: The principal is so dumb!  Girl: Do you know who I am?  Boy: No...  Girl: I am the principals daughter!  Boy: Do you know who I am?  Girl: No...  Boy: Good! *walks away*
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Teacher: “If I give you two rabbits and two rabbits and another two rabbits, how many rabbits have you got?”  Boy: “Seven!”  Teacher: “No, listen carefully again.   If I give you two rabbits and two rabbits and another two rabbits, how many rabbits have you got?”  Boy: “Seven!”  Teacher: “Let’s try this another way.   If I give you two apples and two apples and another two apples, how many apples have you got?”  Boy: “Six.”  Teacher: “Good.   Now if I give you two rabbits and two rabbits and another two rabbits, how many rabbits have you got?”  Boy: “Seven!”  Teacher: “How on earth do you work out that three lots of two rabbits is seven?”  Boy: “I’ve already got one rabbit at home now!”
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Jimmy: Would you punish me for some thing I didn't do?  Teacher: no, of course not.  Jimmy: good, because I didn't do my homework.
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School Jokes 7

"Dad, can you help me find the lowest common denominator in this problem please?"  "Dont tell me that they havent found it yet, I remember looking for it when I was a boy!"
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Teacher: Name two days of the week that start with "t".  Pupil: Today and Tomorrow.
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Teacher: Ramu, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your brothers.   Did u copy his?  Ramu: No, teacher, its the same dog!
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Teacher: "Sam, what is the outside of a tree called?"  Sam: "I don't know."  Teacher: "Bark, Sam, bark."  Sam: "Bow, wow, wow!"
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Teacher: Can anyone give me a sentence with a direct object?  Student: You are pretty.  Teacher: What’s the direct object?  Student: A good report card.
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School Jokes 6

Teacher: "I wished you would pay a little   attention."  Pupil: "I'm paying as little as I can!"
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Teacher: “You missed school yesterday, didn’t you?”
Boy: “Not a bit!”
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Teacher: Why are you late?  Ramu: Because of the sign.  Teacher: What sign?  Ramu: The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow."
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A first-grade teacher was having trouble with one of her students.   The teacher asked, “Harry what is your problem?”   Harry answered, “I’m too smart for the first-grade. My sister is in the third-grade and I’m smarter than she is! I think I should be in the third-grade too!”  The teacher had had enough.     She took Harry to the principal’s office.  While Harry waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was.   The principal told the teacher he would give the boy a test and if he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the first-grade and behave.   The teacher agreed.  Harry was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test.  Principal: “What is 3 x 3?”  Harry: “9″.  Principal: “What is 6 x 6?”  Harry: “36″.  And so it went with every question the principal thought a third-grade should know.   The principal looks at the teacher and tells her, “I think Harry can go to the third-grade.”  The teacher says to the principal, “Let me ask him some questions?”  The principal and Harry both agree.  The teacher asks, “What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?”  Harry, after a moment, “Legs.”  Teacher: “What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?”   The principal wondered, why does she ask such a question!  Harry replied, “Pockets.”  Teacher: “What does a dog do that a man steps into?”  Harry: “Pants”  Teacher: "What’s starts with a C and ends with a T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin whitish liquid?"  Harry: Coconut  The principal’s eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer, Harry was taking charge.  Teacher: "What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?"  Harry: "Bubblegum"  Teacher: "What does a man do standing up, a woman do sitting down and a dog do on three legs?"  The principal’s eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer.  Harry: "Shake hands"  Teacher: "Now I will ask some “Who am I sort of questions, okay?"  Harry: "Yep."  Teacher: "You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up. I get wet before you do."  Harry: "Tent"  Teacher: "A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you’re bored. The best man always has me first."  Principal was looking restless and bit tense.  Harry: "Wedding Ring"  Teacher: "I come in many sizes. When I’m not well, I drip. When you blow me, you feel good."  Harry: "Nose"  Teacher: "I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver."  Harry: "Arrow"  Teacher: "What word starts with an ‘F’ and ends in ‘K’ that means a lot of excitement?"  Harry: "Firetruck"  The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the teacher, “Put Harry in the fifth-grade, I missed the last ten questions myself.”
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Teacher: Why does the statue of liberty stand in New York harbour?  Pupil: Because it can’t sit down!  An ideal homework excuse  Teacher: Where is your homework?  Pupil: I lost it fighting this kid who said you weren’t the best teacher in the school  Teacher: If 1+1=2 and 2+2=4, what is 4+4?  Pupil: That’s not fair!  You answer the easy ones and leave us with the hard one!
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