Relationships Jokes 10

What's the definition of a real loser?A guy who has a wet dream and gets HIV.
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Why do bankers make great lovers? They know the penalty for early withdrawal.
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Good News, Bad News, Worse News II

Good: Your son studies a lot in his room.
Bad: You find several porn movies hidden there.
Worse: You're in them.
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Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.
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Maria is a devout Catholic. She gets married and has 17 children. Then her husband dies. She remarries two weeks later, and has 22 children by her next husband. Then he dies. A while later, she dies. At the funeral, the priest looks skyward and says, "At least they're finally together."A guy sitting in the front row says, "Excuse me Father, but do you mean her and her first husband, or her and her second husband?"The priest says, "I mean her legs."
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Relationships Jokes 9

After a wonderful night of love making, the young guy rolled over and was looking around when he noticed a framed picture of another man on a desk in the distance. Naturally, the guy began to worry."Is that your husband?" he inquired nervously."No, silly," she replied, snuggling up to him."Your boyfriend then?" he asked."No, not at all," she said, nibbling away at his ear."Well, who is he then?" demanded the bewildered guy.Calmly, she answered, "That's me before the surgery."
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Good News, Bad News, Worse News IV Good: Your son's finally maturing Bad: He's involved with the woman next door Worse: So are you
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How do you clean a condom?Turn it inside out and shake the f*ck out of it!
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Q. Whats long, hard and full of semen??A. A submarine. Sent by Sam
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While attending a spelling session in school one day,The teacher asked if anyone could spell the word DUMB?Darla raises her hand and says "I can, I can"The teacher replies, "OK, go ahead Darla..."Darla replies..."D-U-M-B"The teacher replies, "very good", and "can you use that word in a sentence?"Darla replies, "Sure, Buckwheat is very DUMB."The teacher replies, "OK, well can anyone spell the word STUPID?"Again, Darla raises her hand, and the teacher replies, "OK, go ahead Darla."Darla replies, "S-T-U-P-I-D"The teacher replies "very good", and "can you use that word in a sentence?"Darla replies, "Sure, Buckwheat is very STUPID."The teacher replies, "OK, well lets continue, can anyone spell the word DICTATE?"No one raises their hand, so the teacher asks Buckwheat if he can spell the word DICTATE?Buckwheat replies, "Sure, D-I-C-T-A-T-E"The teacher replies, "very good Buckwheat," and "can you use that word in a sentence?"Buckwheat replies, "Sure I can." "I may be DUMB and I may be STUPID, but Darla says my DICTATE good."
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Akpos Jokes 23

Computer Assistant

Akpos called a Computer Assistant on phone to complain and this conversation took place...
COMPUTER ASSISTANT: May I help you?
AKPOS: Yes, I am having trouble with WordPerfect.
COMPUTER ASSISTANT: What sort of trouble?
AKPOS: I was just typing along and all of a sudden the words went away.
COMPUTER ASSISTANT: Went away?AKPOS: They disappeared.
COMPUTER ASSISTANT: Hmm, so what does your screen look like now?
AKPOS: Nothing.
COMPUTER ASSISTANT: Can you see the C prompt on the screen?A
KPOS: What is the C prompt?
COMPUTER ASSISTANT: Never mind. Can you move the cursor around the screen?
AKPOS: There isn't any cursor. It won't accept anything I type.COMPUTER ASSISTANT: Does your monitor have a power indicator?
AKPOS: What is a monitor?COMPUTER ASSISTANT: It is the thing with the screen on it that looks like a T.V. Does it have a little light that tells you when it is switched on?
AKPOS: I don't know.
COMPUTER ASSISTANT: Well then, just look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that?AKPOS: No, it's too dark in here.
COMPUTER ASSISTANT: Dark?
AKPOS: Yes, my room's light is off, so the only light I have is what is coming from my window.
COMPUTER ASSISTANT: Well, you had better turn on your room's light then.
AKPOS: I can't.
COMPUTER ASSISTANT: Why?AKPOS: Because there is no light.
COMPUTER ASSISTANT: No light? Okay, do you still have the boxes, manuals and packing stuff that the computer came in?
AKPOS: Yes, I kept them in my cupboard.
COMPUTER ASSISTANT: That is good. Go and get them and unplug your computer and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from.
AKPOS: Really? Is it that bad?
COMPUTER ASSISTANT: Yes, I'm afraid it is.
AKPOS: Well, alright then what do I tell them?COMPUTER ASSISTANT: Tell them, you are too stupid to own a computer.
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Akpos hates his maths teacher

AKPOS: I don't like my maths teacher.
MUM: Why?
AKPOS: He is confused!
MUM: How?
AKPOS: Day before yesterday, he said 5 + 4 = 9, yesterday he said 3 + 6 = 9 and today he said 2 + 7 = 9
MUM: Can you imagine...I told your dad I never liked that school!

One word for the both of them
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I Love Your Wife

Akpos came home early from office. He was shocked to see his wife with his friend, Thambo. He told his wife to get out of the room. Then he said, "Thambo, what are you doing here?" Thambo replied "I love your wife and she loves me too." To this, Akpos said, "I know she loves me not you." After a long conversation, they decided, "We'll hold our guns and fire at each other and pretend to be dead, she will mourn who she loves most." The wife hears the gunshots, she enters d room, shocked and surprised. Suddenly she started laughing loudly, rejoicing and shouting, "Ochuko! Get out of that wardrobe, these two idiots are dead!"
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Mummy's Boy

MUM: Akpos, why are you crying? AKPOS: I've hurt my finger. MUM: When? AKPOS: Half an hour ago. MUM: I didn't hear you crying then. AKPOS: No, I thought you were out.
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Bad Comparison

TEACHER: You are a failure! At your age, Bill Gates already built his first computer software. AKPOS : Mind you Sir, at your age Adolf Hitler committed Suicide.
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