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Thursday, December 06, 2018

Relationships Jokes 6

So the elephant says to the naked man . . ."You breathe through that little thing?"
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Childhood Diseases   Two newlyweds went on their honeymoon and were getting undressed   together for the first   time. He took off his shoes and socks and his toes were all twisted   and discolored. "What   happened to you feet?" his wife asked. "I had a childhood disease   called tolio." "Don't you   mean polio?" "No, tolio, it only affects the toes." He then removed   his pants and revealed   an awful looking pair of knees. "What happened to your knees?" she   asked. "Well, I also   had kneesles." "Don't you mean measles?" "No, kneesles, it only   affects the knees." When   he removed his shorts his wife gasped and said, "Don't tell me, you   also had smallpox!"
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What do Viagra And Disney Land have in common?They both cause you to stand around for an hour waiting for a two minute ride!
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Two older women are sitting on a bench waiting for a bus. The first lady takes out a cigarette and starts to smoke. A minute later it begins to rain, so she takes out a condom, cuts off the end, and carefully places it over the cigarette to shield it from the rain. The second lady looks at that and says, "That's such a good idea, but what is that plastic thing?" "It's a condom," The first lady replies. "Well, where can you buy those?" the second lady asks."Um... Most people buy them at pharmacies." the first lady replies. So the second lady goes to a pharmacy and walks up to the counter. "Do you guys sell those condom things?" she asks the pharmacist. "Why yes we do," the pharmacist says a little confused, "Do you know what size you need?"So the lady says, "Well it's got to fit a Camel."
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Why Jim Smith Lost His First love Jim Smith wished to buy a present for his first sweetheart, and after careful consideration he decided on a pair of gloves. Accompanied by his sweetheart's sister, he went to a department store and bought a pair of white gloves.  The sister purchased a pair of panties for herself.  During the wrapping, the items got mixed up.(The sweetheart got the panties.)  Without checking the contents, Jim sealed his package and sent it to his sweetheart with the following note. Dearest Darling,This is a little gift to show you I have not forgotten you this Christmas. I chose these because I noticed that you are not in the habit of wearing any when we go out in the evening.  If it had not been for your younger sister, I would have chosen the long ones with the buttons, but she wears the short ones that are easy to remove.  These are a delicate shade, but the lady I bought them from showed me a pair that she had worn for three weeks and they were hardly soiled.  I had the sales girl try them on and she really looked smart.  I wish I could put them on you the first time. No doubt, other men's hands will come in contact with them before I have the chance to see you again.  When you take them off blow in them before putting them away as they will naturally be a little damp from wearing. Be sure to keep them on when you clean them or they might shrink.  I hope you like them and will wear them for me next Friday night.                                                           All My Love,                                           JimmyP.S.  Just think how many times I will kiss them during the coming year.      Also, the sales girl showed me how they look when worn in the      latest style - folded down with the fur showing.
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PSJokes on Facebook

A woman whose husband often came home drunk decided to cure him of the habit. One Halloween night, she put on a devil suit and hid behind a tree to intercept him on the way home. When her husband came by, she jumped out and stood before him with her red horns, long tail, and pitchfork. "Who are you?" he asked. "I'm the Devil," she responded. "Well, come on home with me," he said, "I married your sister๐Ÿ‘ฐ." ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚ The phone rings at FBI headquarters. "Hello? I'm calling to report my neighbor, Clifford. He is hiding marijuana inside his firewood!" "Thank you very much for the call, sir." The next day, FBI agents descend on the neighbor's house. They search the shed where the firewood is kept. Using axes, they bust open every piece of wood, but find no marijuana. They swear at the neighbors and leave. The phone rings at the neighbors house. Hey, Clifford, did the FBI come?" "Yep." "Did they chop your firewood?" "Yep." "Great, now it's your turn to call. I need my garden plowed." ๐Ÿคฃ ๐Ÿคฃ ๐Ÿคฃ ๐Ÿ˜‚ ๐Ÿ˜‚ ๐Ÿ˜‚ #PRMPSmartJokes Like page and share. ๐ŸšฎVisit for more Jokes ⏩ prmpsmartjokes.blogspot.com

Wednesday, December 05, 2018

PSJokes on Facebook

MOTHER PIG: What did you learn in school today? FIRST PIGLET: Oink! Oink! SECOND PIGLET: Oink! Oink! THIRD PIGLET: Woof! Woof! MOTHER PIG: What? THIRD PIGLET: I'm taking a foreign language. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚ Husband: Every time I hit you, you never fight back. How do you manage your anger? Wife: I clean the toilet seat. Husband: How does that help? Wife: I use your toothbrush! ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚ John invited his mother over for dinner. During the meal, his mother couldn't help noticing how beautiful John's roommate was. She had long been suspicious of a relationship between John and his roommate, and this only made her more curious. Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between John and the roommate than met the eye. Reading his mom's thoughts, John volunteered, "I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, Julie and I are just roommates." About a week later, Julie came to John and said, "Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the beautiful silver gravy ladle. You don't suppose she took it, do you?" John said, "Well, I doubt it, but I'll write her a letter just to be sure." So he sat down and wrote "Dear Mother, I'm not saying you did take a gravy ladle from my house, and I'm not saying you did not take a gravy ladle. But the fact remains that one has been missing ever since you were here for dinner." Several days later, John received a letter from his mother which read: "Dear Son, I'm not saying that you do sleep with Julie, and I'm not saying that you do not sleep with Julie. But the fact remains that if she was sleeping in her own bed, she would have found the gravy ladle by now. Love, Mom." ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚ Click and Like page for more▶️ #PRMPSmartJokes ๐ŸšฎVisit for more Jokes ⏩ prmpsmartjokes.blogspot.com

Joke of the Day

6. How do I disable the autocorrect function on my wife? 7. If I had a dollar for every girl that found me unattractive, they would eventually find me attractive. 8. Top 3 situations that require witnesses: 1) Crimes; 2) Accidents; 3) Marriages; Need I say more? 9. I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather... Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car. 10. Strong people don't put others down. They lift them up and slam them on the ground for maximum damage. ๐Ÿคฃ ๐Ÿคฃ ๐Ÿคฃ ๐Ÿ˜‚ ๐Ÿ˜‚ ๐Ÿ˜‚ Math Teacher: "If I have 5 bottles in one hand and 6 in the other hand, what do I have?" Student: "A drinking problem." ๐Ÿคฃ ๐Ÿคฃ ๐Ÿคฃ ๐Ÿ˜‚ ๐Ÿ˜‚ ๐Ÿ˜‚ Instead of "the John," I call my toilet "the Jim." That way it sounds better when I say I go to the Jim first thing every morning. ๐Ÿคฃ ๐Ÿคฃ ๐Ÿคฃ ๐Ÿ˜‚ ๐Ÿ˜‚ ๐Ÿ˜‚ If you ever get cold, just stand in the corner of a room for a while. They're normally around 90 degrees. ๐Ÿคฃ ๐Ÿคฃ ๐Ÿคฃ ๐Ÿ˜‚ ๐Ÿ˜‚ ๐Ÿ˜‚ Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now. ๐Ÿคฃ ๐Ÿคฃ ๐Ÿคฃ ๐Ÿ˜‚ ๐Ÿ˜‚ ๐Ÿ˜‚ Why is it that your nose runs, but your feet smell? ๐Ÿคฃ ๐Ÿคฃ ๐Ÿคฃ ๐Ÿ˜‚ ๐Ÿ˜‚ ๐Ÿ˜‚ If you understand the last joke, then give a like or comment

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