Little Johnny Jokes 3

Little Johnny was crying one day, and his dad asked him why.   'I've lost five cents,' sobbed Johnny.   'Don't worry,' said his dad kindly.   Here's five more for you,' At this Johnny howled louder than ever.   'Now what is it ?' asked his dad.   'I wish I'd said I'd lost ten cents!'
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Grandma's House

Everyone was seated around the table as the food was being served. When little Johnny received his plate, he started eating straight away. Johnny, wait until we've said our prayer, his mother reminded him. I don't have to. the little boy replied. Of course you do. his mother insisted. We say a prayer before eating at our house. That's at our house, Johnny explained, but this is Grandmas house and she knows how to cook.
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Little Johnny's new baby brother is screaming up a storm. He asks his mom, "Where'd we get him?" His mother replies, "He came from Heaven, Johnny." Johnny says, "Wow! I can see why they threw him out!"
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He Says He's Too Smart For 2nd Grade, So His Teacher Puts Him To The Test

A second grade teacher was having trouble with one of her students. One day she asked Johnny what his problem was, and he replied, "I'm too smart for the second grade, my sister is in the third grade and I'm smarter than her too."

The teacher took him to the principal's office and explained the situation to him.

The principal told her that he would give Johnny a test, and if he failed to answer one question, he would go back to the second grade and be quiet.

The teacher and Johnny both agreed.

Principal: "What is 3 x 3?"

Johnny: "9."

Principal: "6 x 6?"

Johnny: "36."

So, it went on like this. The principal asked him every question a third grader should know. Finally, after about an hour, he told the teacher, "I see no reason why Johnny can't go to the third grade, he answered all of my questions right."

The teacher asked if she could ask him some questions. The principal and Johnny agreed.

Teacher: "What does a cow have 4 of that I only have 2 of?"

Johnny: "Legs."

Teacher: "What do you have in your pants that I don't have?" The principal gasped, but before he could stop him from answering, Johnny answered.

Johnny: "Pockets."

Teacher: "What does a dog do that a man steps into?"

Johnny: "Pants."

Teacher: What starts with F and ends with K and means a lot of excitement?"

Johnny: "Fire truck."

The principal breathed a big sigh of relief and said: "Put Johnny in the fifth grade, I got the last 4 questions wrong myself."
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A little boy and a little girl were taking a bath.  The little girl looked down and said, "Whats that?"  "That's my little red sports car," said the little boy.  The little boy looked down and said, "Whats that?"  "That's my little red sports car garage," said the little girl.  A few seconds later the little girl said, "How about you put your little red sports car in my little red sports car garage?"  "Sure," said the little boy.  The little boys mother was down stairs and heard this blood curdling scream.   She ran upstairs.   Once she got there she saw blood all over the bathtub.  "What happened?!" she said.  "Well, Johnny tried to put his little red sports car in my little red sports car garage...but it didn't fit...so I cut the back wheels off..."
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Answer me this Jokes 2

Q: What happens once in a minute and twice in a moment but never in a decade?
A: The letter "m."
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Q: What is white when it's dirty and black when it's clean?
A: A chalkboard
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Q: Why did the cat sleep with a fan on?  A: He wanted to be a cool cat.
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Q: What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it?
A: Envelope.
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Q: How did a blind man meet his wife?A: On a blind date!
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