Funny Quotes Jokes 5

I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade... And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party. -Ron White
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I forgive and forget, because I have a good heart, and a terrible memory. -Unknown
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If two wrongs don't make a right, try three. -Laurence J. Peter
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It's amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper. -Jerry Seinfeld
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Be nice to nerds, because you may end up working for one! -Unknown
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Funny Quotes Jokes 4

Whenever I find the key to success, someone changes the lock. -Unknown
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A Doctor

A doctor entered the hospital in hurry after being called in for an urgent surgery. He answered the call asap, changed his clothes & went directly to the surgery block. He found the boy's father pacing in the hall waiting for the doctor. On seeing him, the dad yelled:
"Why did you take all this time to come? Don't you know that my son's life is in danger? Don't you have any sense of responsibility?"
The doctor smiled & said:
"I am sorry, I wasn't in the hospital & I came as fast as I could after receiving the call...... And now, I wish you'd calm down so that I can do my work"
"Calm down?! What if your son was in this room right now, would you calm down? If your own son dies now what will you  do??" said the father angrily
The doctor smiled again & replied: "I will say what Job said in the Holy Book "From dust we came & to dust we return, blessed be the name of God". Doctors cannot prolong lives. Go & intercede for your son, we will do our best by God's grace"
"Giving advises when we're not concerned is so easy" Murmured the father.
The surgery took some hours after which the doctor went out happy,
"Thank goodness!, your son is saved!" And without waiting for the father's reply he carried on his way running. "If you have any question, ask the nurse!!"
"Why is he so arrogant? He couldn't wait some minutes so that I ask about my son's state" Commented the father when seeing the nurse minutes after the doctor left.
The nurse answered, tears coming down her face: "His son died yesterday in a road accident, he was in the burial when we called him for your son's surgery. And now that he saved your son's life, he left running to finish his son's burial."
Moral - Never judge anyone..... because you never know how their life is and what they're going through"
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There were a boy and a girl who loved each other much. But due to some minor reasons they broke up. After the broke up, here are the thoughts they were thinking about each others.
BOY - at last I broke up with her.
GIRL - He broke up with me, at last
BOY -  I don't know why I did that?
GIRL - he may have a strong Reason for leave me.
BOY -  I was so happy with her. She was so perfect !!!
GIRL - All I did was disappoint him, I could have considered it, before.
BOY  - I got a new girl which I don't even like.
GIRL - He got a new girl which he's in love with.
BOY  - I got a new girl, It's only because I couldn't get my mind off from her..
GIRL - He doesn't even think of me.
BOY  - No one can replace her in my life.
GIRL - He replaced me with that Girl, so simply.
BOY  - She was so much better than my new girl friend.
GIRL - She has everything I don't.
BOY  - I want her back, so madly.
GIRL - He doesn't even want to hear my name.
BOY  - She's everything to me.
GIRL - I'm nothing to him.
BOY  - But now she probably hates me.
GIRL - But I can never hate him..
BOY  - I miss her so much.
GIRL - I miss him.
BOY - Still I love her.
GIRL - Still I love him...
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Smile, and the world will smile with you. Laugh, and they’ll think you’re on drugs! -Unknown
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People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do. -Isaac Asimov
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Shared from Book of Jokes by PRMP Smart Jokes 😂

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Funny Quotes Jokes 3

I didn’t fall, the floor just needed a hug. -Unknown
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The first sign of madness is talking to yourself, the second sign is replying. -Unknown
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A guy spots a sign outside a house that reads "Talking Dog for Sale." Intrigued, he walks in. "So what have you done with your life?" he asks the dog. "I've led a very full life," says the dog. "I lived in the Alps rescuing avalanche victims. Then I served my country in Iraq. And now I spend my days reading to the residents of a retirement home." The guy is flabbergasted. He asks the dog's owner, "Why on earth would you want to get rid of an incredible dog like that?" The owner says, "Because he’s a liar! He never did any of that!"
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Practice makes perfect but then nobody is perfect so what’s the point of practicing?
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It takes patience to listen... It takes skill to pretend you’re listening. -Unknown
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Whenever I find the key to success, someone changes the lock. -Unknown
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Shared from Book of Jokes by PRMP Smart Jokes 😂

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