Little Johnny Jokes 4

Little Johnny wakes up and comes down to breakfast. Since he lived on a farm, his mother asked if he had done his chores."Not yet," replied little Johnny.His mother tells him he can't have any breakfast until he does his chores.Well, now he's a little pissed, so he goes to feed the chickens, and he kicks a chicken.He goes to feed the cows, and he kicks a cow.He goes to feed the pigs, and he kicks a pig.He goes back in for breakfast and his mother gives him a bowl of dry cereal."How come I don't get any eggs and bacon? Why don't I have any milk in my cereal?" he asks."Well," his mother says, "I saw you kick a chicken, so you don't get any eggs. I saw you kick the pig, so you don't get any bacon, either.I also saw you kick the cow, so you aren't getting any milk this morning."Just about then, his father comes down for breakfast, and he kicks the cat as he's walking into the kitchen.Little Johnny looks up at his mother with a smile, and says..."Are you going to tell him, or should I?
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One day Little Johnny came home from school and asked his mom what they were having for dinner.  She said that it was a surprise and him and his brother would have to guess what it is after they try it.  Well dinner time came and they started eating it,but they couldn't figure out what it was.  So Little Johnny asked his mom for a hint. She said,"Okay,Ill give you a hint.  I call your father this."Little Johnny said to his brother,"Quick Bobby, spit it out,its asshole!"
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During an English lesson, the teacher notices that a boy was not paying attention to him.   Teacher asks, "Johnny, join these two sentences together.   I was cycling to school.   I saw a dead body."   Little Johnny after thinking for a while says, "I saw a dead body cycling to school."
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Little Johnny 's next door neighbors had a baby. Unfortunately, the little baby was born with no ears. When they arrived home from the hospital, the parents invited Little Johnny's family to come over and see their new baby. Little Johnny's parents were very afraid that their son would have a wise crack to say about the baby so the dad had a long talk with little Johnny before going to the neighbors. He said "Now, son... that poor baby was born without any ears. I want you to be on your best behavior and not say one word about his ears or I am really going to spank you when we get back home.""I promise not to mention his ears at all" said Little Johnny. At the neighbors home, Little Johnny leaned over in the crib and touched the baby's hand He looked at it's mother and said "Oh What a Beautiful little baby". The mother said "Thank you very much, Little Johnny." He then said, "this baby has perfect little hands and perfect little feet. Why... just look at his pretty little eyes.... Did his doctor say that he can see good?" The Mother said "why, yes Johnny... his doctor said he has 20/20 vision. Little Johnny said "well, its a darn good thing, cause he sure couldn't wear glasses!!!
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A salesman rings the door bell and Little Johnny answers.  Salesman: "Can I see your dad?"  Johnny: "No, he's in the shower."  Salesman: "What about your mother? Can I see her?"  Johnny: "Nope. She's in the shower, too."  Salesman: "Do you think they'll be out soon?"  Johnny: "Doubt it. When my dad asked me for the Vaseline, I gave him super glue instead."
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